Why forgiveness?

What is Involved in Forgiveness? Forgiveness takes place in five basic steps:
1) Remembering in detail what happened and how it made you feel
2) Understanding the other person, hearing what they thought happened and how they felt as they experienced it
3) Identifying the reasons that prevent you from reaching Forgiveness, your expectations of how you would have liked them to have acted
4) Choosing to accept responsibility for your life and choosing to release yourself from your expectations and the reasons that keep you from Forgiving.
5) Creating a ritual act of release, of letting go and forgiving, as for example, shaking hands, burning lists of what the others person did wrong.

After Forgiveness comes reconciliation, the ability to be in the presence of the other person without feeling angry or vulnerable. It is the highest point of healing. Reconciliation may or may not take place following forgiveness, since it requires direct contact with the other person to eliminate old patterns and create a basis for healthy emotional interaction.

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