Making Divorce more Humane for Children

There are no pre-set rules as to how parents have to share parenting responsibilities.

While a 50/50 division of time and tasks seems like a reasonable way to start, it could be 90/10 if that is what the parents prefer. The same goes for money –some people may opt to give their ex-spouse a set sum of money every month instead of being involved in the day-to-day decisions of how to use this money for the children (there are even married couples who function this way). The difference is that this is a voluntary choice, not something dictated by gender roles.

Several states have now adopted laws which call for a presumptive shared parenting; little by little, more will undoubtedly follow. The presumption means that shared parenting is expected to continue after divorce. Of course, these laws make allowances for cases where one parent is unfit, and it is better for the child to remain in sole custody of the other parent. So what’s the difference between laws that have a presumption of shared parenting and traditional laws? With the traditional laws, unless both parents agree to share parenting, the courts undertake an inquiry as to the better parent. As we have seen, this usually means that father is eliminated and the mother is selected as the parent in charge.