Managing Anger—When there is No One to Share the Pain

“Acting Out” Sexually.
Sex is a way to get close—not a reward for being close. We can use the power of sexuality to increase our love for one another and to grow together. In the early stages of a relationship sex is great. Then, couples move in together, get married and begin leading complex lives. This is especially true of blended families, or if just one of the partners brings children to the marriage. The practical side of life somehow manages to take over. Anger begins to develop, sex becomes less frequent, even power struggles get acted out in the bedroom, and now the relationship doesn’t seem as easy as it was before.

Family Myths.
“Acting out” sexually can be a symptom of the myths and misconceptions from our childhood. For example, a myth about anger might be “Good girls don’t get angry—it’s not ladylike.” Or, the myth about relationships—that sex can only happen if communication is good, respect is high, there is no fighting and romance is in place. These myths limit our ability to be spontaneous, loving, truthful, and therefore, to be intimate with our friends and significant others.