Letting Go of Divorce

Paradoxically, an empowering serenity comes when you have moved beyond shock, anger, and bargaining and have accepted your powerlessness. This is the beginning of the resolution stage that continues as you decide it's time now to get on with your future.

Don't confuse what you need from yourself and supportive friends with what you seek from your attorney. Your attorney may need to continue bargaining on behalf of you and/or your children for some time after you have achieved serenity. You get the serenity; the attorney gets the fee.

Letting go is not an either/or. It may come and go. At times you will feel like you have finished letting go only to discover the next day or minute that you are still hanging on to what was, what seemed to be, or what could have been -- if only.

You can't force grief and letting go to happen fast or prematurely. Like divorce recovery in general, it is a marathon, not a sprint. You can, however, help the natural process along with any of the following strategies that appeal to you.