Step 4. Avoid empty threats. Threats are not a good way to communicate. You shouldn't be using any kind of threats -- but especially empty ones. Instead use clear messages; ones your child can understand and know will be enforced.

Step 5. Be a positive communicator. How many communications are there between you and your child each day? Fifty, 100, 500? More? Maybe. But if many or most of the communications are negative, what does this teach your child? It may teach her that communication isn't worth it. Or that it would be better to avoid talking to you. Use positive communication, use praise, and use more "do" commands (like, "Please use your inside voice") rather than "don't" instructions (such as, "Stop yelling in the house").

Use these communication steps faithfully and you are less unlikely to have any communication breakdowns in your family.

Submitted by: James Windell, a co-author of the recently released book What You Need to Know About Ritalin, and a psychotherapist who has specialized in work with children and their parents for 35 years.