J Seidler (copyrighted 1998)

Lifesong

A woman in the congregation, she was crying
I watched her, and I could feel her pain
Her children sat beside her, they were small
she could have hugged one
but she didn't
they didn't need to know that she was sad
The choir robe rested on my knees like angel feathers
I stood and it fell from me like mist
The music started with a quiver then grew stronger
and my voice rushed up
from the deepest part of me
a fire burning on a fuel I did not know
I sang for the woman in the congregation
I sang for all the women there
I sang for all the children
that they would not know this pain
that they would find joy
that they would be free
some day
some day
like me.

My Spirit Guides Me

In that magnificent heavenly state between wakefulness and sleep,
I sought solace and comfort, in my need to feel replete.
You came to me.

As we seated ourselves on a grassy knoll beside a lovely creek,
I explained the needs of my physical being, and what I'd begun to seek.
You smiled at me.

In searching for a safe and quiet place to hide,
I'd lost that special part of me that was once so much alive.
You took my hand.

We walked along a bright white path, which seemed to have no end.
You made me look inside my soul and told me to begin.
You gave me knowledge.

I released the past, cast off the pain, let go of the fear that bound me.
I learned I was a part of God. I let His light surround me.
I found love.

I now find life not quite as hard, and the road not quite as long.
I've learned how strong I really am and that we never walk alone.
My path is straight, my goals are set; it is only good I see.
The Love, the Light, the Strength of God were always here in Me.

Now here Jody goes again...dreaming of a long lost friend.

I see glimpses in your eyes, are you wearing a disguise? You are familiar and alive, filled with light and love I've known. I feel your tender soul beneath a questioning and sturdy heart...one that once was torn apart. In life and dreams, I'm on my own. With all the hopes and seeds I've sown. Longing for a heart to share, all the magic found somewhere inside of me, just now set free, upon a firm foundation built, without the pain, without the guilt - of a past I can now let go, and build anew with all I know. To look within and not without, release the ache - release the doubt, and know each answer that I need does welcome me when I recede...and go within in quiet times, to see the truth and write in rhymes. To fall in love with who I am - and then attract a healthy man, to share my life and come with me, to build a love and be set free, from denial or ache and pain...to feel alive and not insane. To ease the load and share romance, to caress a heart and take a chance. The way out is to go through, and be honest in what I do. I have to say I'm a little scared from the doubt and pain that's layered, upon a small and childlike heart...that also once was torn apart. © Jody Seidler 1997

All poems and articles © Jody Seidler 1997 unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.