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Spiritual Divorce

By Debbie Ford

Spiritual Divorce
Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life


A Spiritual Divorce is one in which we use our divorce to improve our lives and our experience becomes one of gain rather than loss. A Spiritual Divorce brings us back into the presence of our highest self and heals the split between our ego and our soul. When we use our divorces to heal our wounds, to learn, grow and develop ourselves into more loving, conscious human beings, we have truly had a spiritual experience and a liberation of our souls. Rather than staying stuck in the pain of our broken hearts, a Spiritual Divorce calls us to reconnect to the highest aspects of our being. It is here in the presence of our highest self that we can reclaim our power, our joy, and the limitless freedom to create the life of our dreams.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce

The Law of Acceptance - The first and possibly most important spiritual law is that everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident and there are no coincidences. We are always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not. And our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own unique evolutionary process.

The Law of Surrender - When we stop resisting and surrender to our situation exactly as it is, things begin to change. Resistance is the number-one culprit in denying us our right to heal. We resist out of fear that if we let go, if we surrender, our lives will go out of control or we will be faced with circumstances we can't handle. When we are willing to look at our situation and admit that we don't know how to fix it, we are ready to get the help we need.

The Law of Divine Guidance - God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. When we get out of our own way and let go of our defenses, we become humble. Humility is the doorway through which the Divine can walk into our lives. Without humility, we believe we can do it ourselves. Without humility, our false sense of pride, or ego, prohibits us from seeing the entire situation with clear eyes. Our egos remain in charge until we step outside our righteous belief that we are independent and separate beings. As long as this myth is intact, we keep the door closed to our higher wisdom.

The Law of Responsibility - With divine guidance, we can look at exactly how we participated in and co-created our divorce drama. We can begin to take responsibility for our entire situation and make peace with our past. We can see how we have chosen the perfect partner to teach us the perfect lessons. Once we have asked God to come into our lives and guide us, we begin to heal.

The Law of Choice - Haven taken responsibility, we can choose new interpretations that empower us. We become responsible and the designer of our new reality. We can separate from our partner and cut the karmic cords by taking back the aspects of ourselves that we've projected onto our mate. We can distinguish what our self-defeating behaviors have been and learn how to act instead of react in difficult situations.

The Law of Forgiveness - After we have cut the karmic cord, we will be able to ask God to forgive us. Asking for forgiveness allows us to let go of our judgments and beliefs about what is right and what is wrong and find compassion for our entire selves. Compassion unfolds when we are in the presence of the perfection of the Universe, when we can experience ourselves in another. It comes with the great understanding of the difficulties and ambiguity of being a human being. Compassion is God's grace for those who ask. Once we have received compassion for ourselves, we will be able to find compassion and forgiveness for our mate.

The Law of Creation - Experiencing the freedom of forgiveness opens up the gates to new realities. Forgiveness breaks all the cords that keep us tied to the past. It allows us to experience an innocent heart filled with love and excitement for life. This is the time to create a new future, one grounded in our divine truth.